Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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