I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
