I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize