Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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