What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
