Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
