Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
worst night to have a conscience
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
