So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
