Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
