I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
