i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
