on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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