So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
what day is it and did you see me today?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
