There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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