you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
