chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
