I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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