I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
