My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize