In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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