Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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