Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
