the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
