if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
