it wasn't lemon gatorade
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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