How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
