Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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