And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
