literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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