glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
