Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
