Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
