there's paper in my vomit.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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