i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
