It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
