there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
