somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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