he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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