I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
