the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
