i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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