it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
