not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Moan for me like Helen Keller
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
