i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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