So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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