I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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