Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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