Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
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I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
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Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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