drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
