Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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