you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The struggles of a small town man whore
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
