i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
