just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I am available for nakedness
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
