pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
420 ftw
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
