i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
