The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize