i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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