Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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